SPEAKER_02 0:00

The frequency frequency. Good morning, Boulder County. It's Wednesday, August 19th. I'm Shea Castle, and this is The Frequency. A weekly local podcast covering the news, events, and voices shaping the Boulder Valley. Today's episode is brought to you by Boulder Bookstore. Visit Boulder's Community Bookstore on the Pearl Street Mall. Besides having an amazing selection of books, Boulder Bookstore hosts author events every week. On Saturday, August 29th, come see Samuel Birchultz, author of Rude Awakenings, an unconventional guide to the Buddhist path. The event begins at 6.30 p.m. Visit BoulderBookstore.com to see a full list of upcoming events, purchase tickets to attend, and support the store's Literacy Foundation, which donates books to schools and students in need. That link, once again, is boulderbookstore.com. Today we're talking about one of the most persistent complaints about Colorado: dating. We've tapped two professionals in the world of matchmaking to explain why it sucks and what lonely singles can do to find love. But first, the headlines. Boulder has delayed a switch to a new vendor to operate the city's 30 automatic license plate reader cameras. In March, Boulder announced it would not renew its contract with controversial surveillance company Flock. A request was put out for a new vendor to operate license plate reading cameras in the city. A handful of companies and their cameras were supposed to be tested this summer, with a new vendor announced September 15th. That pilot never happened, city officials told Boulder Reporting Lab. For now, Boulder remains under contract with Flock, though it has an option to terminate at any time with 30 days' notice. Boulder and other cities have faced mounting pressure from residents concerned about Flock's cooperation with federal immigration authorities, as well as general privacy concerns. At least one Flock camera in Boulder on Table Mesa and Moorhead has been sawed off its post in recent weeks. Two residents are suing Boulder over what they say amounts to warrantless surveillance. License plate reading cameras take images every time a car, bicyclist, or even some pedestrians pass. The photos are uploaded to a searchable database that law enforcement can access without a warrant for up to 30 days.

SPEAKER_00 2:44

What most people don't know is that all of that information is actually being sent overseas to companies that are helping train AI models on that data. The way that people move through cities, the types of people that other people talk to, the locations that people spend time in. General habits and behaviors of anyone that passes these cameras are being trained by private AI models. That should be concerning to anyone that hears those words.

SPEAKER_02 3:11

Boulder's city manager Nuria Rivera Vanderbeid said the city would provide an update on the process later this month. The clip you just heard was from cybersecurity professional Andrew Gentry. Hear more from Andrew in our February 18th episode on flock surveillance. Two laws inspired by the deaths of Boulderites are now in effect. Magnus's law requires that drivers be offered an alcohol blood test on the scene of collisions that caused death or serious injury. Magnus White was a 17-year-old cyclist killed by a driver along the diagonal highway in 2023. Another law requires universities to take specific actions when a student goes missing. Law enforcement must be contacted within six hours. The law comes after the death of CU Boulder student Megan Trussell last year. The 18-year-old was found in Boulder Canyon six days after she was reported missing. Broomfield-based Crocs has avoided paying more than $218 million in taxes by setting up a shell corporation on the tiny island nation of Malta, according to an investigative report by the New York Times released earlier this month. The iconic shoe company started in Boulder, but has since moved its corporate headquarters to Broomfield, but it lists a two-person Malta office as the generator of most of the company's global sales. A New York Times reporter visited the Malta office of Crocs and other companies like Victoria's Secret, Kraft Heinz, and Pepsi. The article reported empty offices, many without lights on. The corporations are taking advantage of laws that allow them to dodge taxes in their home country. The maneuvers come as more than 130 countries are attempting to levy a 15% minimum business tax globally. Trump's administration pulled out of the pact, and countries like Malta, Switzerland, and Singapore are seeking to shelter U.S. companies from the global tax. Read more at the link in our show notes. From tax dodging to modern dating, our main story is up next. We hear all the time how difficult it is to date in Colorado. I hear that from my friends who are still dating gay, straight men, women, non-binary from your inside perspective here. Why? Why is it so difficult? And are there things exclusive to Colorado that make it difficult, or is it this is just the state of the world today?

SPEAKER_01 5:34

Wherever you live, dating is difficult right now. I think that dating is exhausting. And at the beginning, the apps were exciting, but now people on the apps are talking to probably 10, 20 people at a time. They don't even know who they're talking to, and things don't even turn into dates. And then people are waiting to connect and it doesn't happen. People think that they have unlimited choices.

SPEAKER_03 6:01

I'm shocked when I see how many people one person will date at a time. And I'm just like, oh my gosh, how are you ever making a decision or like getting to know one person because they just go through them like a bag of chips? Like, who's it this week instead of focusing and developing relationships?

SPEAKER_02 6:24

Why is it so hard to date in Colorado? There are almost as many theories as there are horror stories from unlucky singles. For this week's main story, I'm turning to the experts for answers. The voices you just heard belong to two professional matchmakers based right here in Boulder.

SPEAKER_01 6:41

I'm Joanna Mandel. I like to be called Jojo sometimes, but that's kind of a new thing. And I'm Alessandra Guzman. And we are Meet Cute Matchmaking, a matchmaking company that focuses in Boulder, Denver, and the front range.

SPEAKER_02 6:58

Jojo and Alessandra have been working together for about 18 months, but their history of matchmaking goes back much further. Jojo, a former PR professional working in film and television, has been a matchmaker since 2017. Alessandra officially became a matchmaker during the COVID-19 pandemic, but she's been setting up friends and colleagues since she can remember. Her innate skills have led to multiple successful marriages. Speaking of marriage, both Jojo and Alessandra are married and have been for multiple decades, which is kind of reassuring for people who get paid to help others find true love. They also found one another in a way that echoes more romantic relationships. Jojo slipped into Alessandra's DMs after seeing her matchmaking post on social media, and they decided to start working together.

SPEAKER_03 7:46

It was love at first sight. Well, that's sweet. It was actually quite an honor. Joanna said, like, I would like to partner. I would like to partner with you. If you're not into that, that's okay, but I'm just putting it out there.

SPEAKER_02 8:00

We've already heard a bit about what Jojo and Alessandra think is wrong with modern dating. Too many screens, not enough connection and human interaction, too many expectations, and too little commitment or curiosity. We're not just here to diagnose Colorado's abysmal dating scene. Jojo and Alessandra come with practical advice built on years of experience and close observation. Their first tip, always opt for a second date.

SPEAKER_01 8:26

A lot of people get so psyched up, and this is something I don't like because they just let themselves be disappointed right away. They think they're going into something, and instead of being open and instead of being excited to maybe just get to know someone, as matchmakers, we often recommend that people, unless there's a red flag right away, go on the second date. Get to know humans.

SPEAKER_03 8:50

You know, what people really go into dating and first dates is they want that instant spark and that instant chemistry. And it is very rare. And when it does happen, it doesn't necessarily mean that's going to be a good match for you. So I just wish people would really think about what is important long term. Give it time to build. And I think as long as there's a good base, then you can make a really great partnership.

SPEAKER_02 9:19

There are smaller things you can do, like picking a good profile picture for your dating app.

SPEAKER_01 9:24

A lot of people make the mistake of doing that bathroom selfie, the fish selfie. And people will not click on that. They need to be educated better about pictures to choose as well.

SPEAKER_02 9:35

Or simply learning how to interact face to face. Skills many people lost or never developed during the pandemic.

SPEAKER_03 9:41

If you're inexperienced, if you feel a little shy, we can help you work through conversation and what kind of things you should talk about. Let's think about your body language. Are you smiling? Are you having eye contact? We just got to get you comfortable being in person on a date.

SPEAKER_02 9:58

It's important to stay open-minded, the matchmakers say. Meet cute's clients often come in with too many deal breakers. Narrow age ranges or a specific list of activities they will or won't partake in. A big one in Active Boulder is people demanding their partners share the same outdoor interests.

SPEAKER_01 10:16

We're coaching around not being too judgmental when you are dating certain lifestyles. Somebody might have a horse and somebody might be like, Well, I'm not into horses, and that does not mean you shouldn't go together. There's this whole people who are climbers. Many of them will say, I won't date someone that's not a climber. Those are things we actually coach people to be like, listen, you know, I've been married for thousands of years, and I don't do 90% of the things that my husband is doing. You don't need to be doing the same things. You just have to be excited for them to do their thing and then make time to be together.

SPEAKER_02 10:59

On the more practical side, Meet Cute can do everything from taking over your dating apps to staging a professional photo shoot. Their onboarding process is intensive and includes a set number of introductions, date planning and coaching, and follow-up after the dates to get feedback from both parties.

SPEAKER_03 11:14

We do not put the client and their match in touch with each other before the date, usually. Sometimes we'll exchange numbers, but usually everything goes through the matchmaker. We set up everything, and then we are like on call during their date, basically to make sure that they find each other. And then after the date, we do the feedback sessions. So we check in with both and ask how things went. What did you like about the person? Do you want to see them again? And then we can help either deliver some good news or deliver some bad news.

SPEAKER_01 11:46

Part of the bonus of hiring us is that you don't have to talk again after the first date. Like we will get to the person and say, you know, it's not a match.

SPEAKER_03 11:56

And we do like support, ongoing support with our clients. So we are in touch with them regularly. Whether or not we have a date coming up or a client, we just are always checking in. How are things going? Are you in touch with whoever they've been on a date with or if they've met somebody they liked? And so that's always part of matchmaking is ongoing date coaching, ongoing support, just to make sure they know that they are not alone in this.

SPEAKER_01 12:19

We're very nervous actually to hear what people might say about the date. But we're feeling pretty good. Like I feel like a lot of the times people are having really, really good dates. I mean, it's not always, but I feel like we get it right a lot of the time.

SPEAKER_02 12:35

All of the above are paid services, but anyone can join MeetQtes database of vetted singles for no cost. It's a great place to start because that's often where they search for matches for their paying clients.

SPEAKER_01 12:47

We look through our database often, and if people just sign up for free in our database, they get set up a lot. And that's just free without pay. If you're a client, you definitely get set up. But if you're in the database, which we have vetted, it's a really amazing place to be.

SPEAKER_02 13:05

Not all Meet Cutes matches are made online. Jojo and Alessandra find it impossible to turn off their matchmaking brain. They've ferreted out singles while talking to strangers at bars or coffee shops that have ultimately resulted in matches for their clients.

SPEAKER_01 13:19

I was on an anniversary trip in Denver with my husband a few months ago, and I was sitting at the bar at a restaurant just having a drink with my husband, and a man, a gentleman, was sitting next to me alone. Part of what I do is just not to be afraid to talk to people. And so I immediately struck up a conversation with this gentleman, and turned out he was single, and he told me his age is early 70s. And immediately I said, I am a matchmaker and I can help you. And he was so excited that I had approached him. He couldn't believe it. He had recently been talking about wanting to find someone. He um was divorced and has grandchildren and working, but just really ready to be in love again. So we followed up with him a couple weeks later, and sure enough, he signed with us to be a client. And on his second date, we found him love. And they are sending us pictures. The woman is mid-60s, he's early 70s, and it is, it makes me cry when I see the pictures. Both grandparents, both traveling, both working, both happy. And it's an unbelievable feeling to find people love.

SPEAKER_03 14:36

Even if you're like, I can't hire a matchmaker, I don't want to work with matchmaker. We still want to meet you, we still want to talk to you because maybe somebody else does hire us, that is your perfect match.

SPEAKER_02 14:46

I couldn't end our interview without giving you just a few more bits of advice. I ask Alessandra and Jojo their takes on common dating dilemmas. They didn't always agree with one another, and I didn't always agree with them. I'm newly engaged, and my fiance and I broke just about every known dating rule. I think there are many paths to love and happiness. Alessandra and Jojo are the experts here, and between them have a combined 50 years plus of marriage. So you might want to listen to them. Do you guys want to do a lightning round with me? Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_03 15:18

Okay. A lightning round.

SPEAKER_02 15:20

Lightning round is like really quick yes-no questions. I okay. You don't have to just do yes or no because a lot of these are kind of dumb and somewhat more nuanced than that. I understand that, but I think I think it can be fun to do. And if it turns out bad, I'll just cut it.

SPEAKER_01 15:32

So yeah, sounds like it's like popcorn or whatever.

SPEAKER_02 15:36

Sliding into people's DMs, yes or no.

SPEAKER_03 15:38

Yes. No. I would say, yeah. Some people are weird about that. Unless it's like appropriate. Like you've DMs are open, kind of thing. You think I say shoot your shot. Okay, good to know.

SPEAKER_02 15:52

Internet researching your date before or after the date.

SPEAKER_01 15:56

No. Okay. This isn't we have to add a little to this because we didn't say it before, but we don't even give the names of the people before the date. We give the names the day before the date. Yeah, because it is not a good thing to research the person before the date. It tends to give them an impression that they already know all these things, like they're doing too much and they are judging, and it gets complicated. So we are very against, and I know we agree on this, to not give enough information for them to Google. Now, after the date, that's a whole other thing.

SPEAKER_03 16:33

We do a background check. And so, like that kind of thing is more, of course, acceptable, but not the I'm Googling and I'm finding his Instagram and I'm finding his company website. Like that part we we frown upon.

SPEAKER_02 16:45

Okay. This one's old fashioned, but sex on the first date. I'm going with no. I'd lean no. Okay. Sluts everywhere. Sad news for you.

SPEAKER_03 16:57

If that's what you want. I'm like, if that's what you want, go for it. But like, yeah, if you're really intentionally dating to find like long term, probably not a good idea.

SPEAKER_01 17:05

I think you should possibly kiss or the touching or the flirtation. I don't think there needs to be sex. There should be on the first date.

SPEAKER_02 17:14

Okay. And this one, we've already talked a little bit about the fish picks in your dating profile. There's a lot of fly fish running around here.

SPEAKER_03 17:21

Yes or no?

SPEAKER_01 17:23

No, absolutely no.

SPEAKER_03 17:25

Yeah, unfortunately, no. It's too, I think women now see that and kind of just like roll their eyes and laugh. So even if it's a really cool picture, I know unfortunately it's like a joke now. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:37

Okay. What about a women who fish? Could they have a fish picture?

SPEAKER_01 17:41

I think it's funny when women do it, and I feel like it's totally fine.

SPEAKER_03 17:46

Yeah, I think so. I think it's rare enough that it would make you stand out.

SPEAKER_02 17:50

Okay, that's all I could think of for the lightning round, but thank you for indulging me in that.

SPEAKER_01 17:55

That's fun. Thank you for doing this with us.

SPEAKER_02 17:59

Appreciate it.

SPEAKER_01 18:00

Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match.

SPEAKER_02 18:04

Thank you to Alessandra and Jojo for their candor and humor. We couldn't possibly include everything from our conversation. Find the full interview and more tips on dating at patreon.com/slash boulderfrequencypod. Join us Friday when we keep the romance going. Sort of. With band Speed Dating in Lafayette. Tune in and you might just get to hear me singing in a studio with a live band. That's all for today's show. As always, thanks for listening. I'll leave you with another story from Meet Cute's Alessandra about a match she made.

SPEAKER_03 18:38

So I have had an experience early on where I had introduced two people and there wasn't like an initial spark or anything. And my client was like, okay, I guess I'll go out with them again. And then it was funny because that was like the last introduction I did with her. And I checked in on her a few months later, just like it was her birthday. Hey, happy birthday, how are things going? And then she sent me a picture of the two of them together. And I was like, oh my gosh, you're still like I was so excited. But it's because she's she stuck with it and she was like, he's a really good guy. And like it ended up going really well.